CHAPTER 1. Only Me

I am a very deep person. Some would say I'm complex but that's only the worlds definition because they don't know me. I also love to write. I think the only reason is because when I write I can write what I'm thinking and it doesn't even have to make sense because I can write what I want- everyone can. People see me as the kind of person who sits in the back and doesn't talk and does her work. Thier wrong they all are because their to shallow and self-absorbed for me to put up with them.

Sloane is my best friend and shes my life saver. We are total opposites and the exactly the same all at once. We both have a stereotype that people give us but it's the furthest from what we are. I can't get inside of my friends head but in mine humans are like glass because the're transparent. ((I want to say that I don't mean to offend anyone and I'm pretty much talking about school)). They live shallow lives of gossip, hatred, betrayal, and two face backstabbing. Why am I the only one that can see whats going on around me? Last year there was someone in my class that I knew would tell my secrets but I didn't really care. This year the moment I started talking to her I could tell she was a COMPLETELY changed person. I was the one to realize that.

I think even though I am mentally sane people see me as slow and stupid. I'll admit I have brunnette moments but I just realized what the difference is; why I can see whats going on around me and why people can't see straight through me. It's because- in the best way I can explain it- I'm wired different.

Math is the hardest subject for me because the teacher is the same as the rest of them except his glass is tinted I can't see through it as easily but after time I learn to look through the darkness, past it and into whats behind it. The teacher explains it in his way. Everyone else thats "normal" can understand what he's saying but I don't because- in my words- it's like when you try to stick the blue wire in the yellow plug it just won't work! So the only way for it to make sense to me is if I take a look at someones work that knows what there doing and pick out the different components and see how thier brain worked it out then I store that piece of info away and it makes sense. I loved my fifth grade class because the teacher would leave her work on the board so that I could sit there and stare at it to understand the way her brain wrapped around it. No one else will do that and no one else understands that I have to figure it out in my head before anyone can teach my anything and sometimes it can't be taught and I'm an "independent learner" as 'people' call it.

My reactions to things are also really random and irrational.